Everybody has to have a last meal... it's just not supposed to be you.

After writing my review of Fear Forest Haunted Hay Ride I realized how big of a difference pictures can make. Not being able to take pictures on the hay ride or in the insanetarium, I could only tell my readers about the awesomeness that it was, but not show it.

To remedy this, I called around a few places to see if they would allow me to get in early to take a few pictures. Factory of Terror took the bait and did me one better. Instead of letting me in early to get a few shots of the sets, they comped me a couple of tickets and let me take the live tour snapping shots as I went.

I was given a tee time of Friday at 8pm. Jen was planning on being out of town so I went to work finding new haunted house buddy. Posting the opportunity on Twitter to join me at Factory of Terror, I had a few followers retweet my message, thereby throwing their hat into the ring. Craig (@CraigGeis,) was the lucky winner.

I’ve never met Craig though we have common acquaintances. I didn’t believe a single thing I’ve heard about him! We emailed, making arrangements to meet up at Factory of Terror. Come Friday, I put the bark collar on the dog and headed out.

I initially had mixed feelings about Factory of Terror. I was impressed by its magnitude but at some points it felt like sitting in a pew in a near empty church on Sunday morning. It was big, but it wasn’t always full of life… or in this case, death, destruction, murder and mayhem.

By the time Craig and I got our tickets there was already a short line building. The Factory of Terror is housed in a large warehouse on Mahoning Road in Canton. You don’t quite get the magnitude of it until you’re inside. It’s pretty dang massive.

The path from ticket booth to warehouse was largely unmarked. They could have done a better job outlining the path with police tape, a trail of blood, dead bodies or whatever. Instead we were pointed down the rope line, around the corner and…. um, is it this door? No. How about this one? Nope, not it either.

Luckily behind us was someone who had been there the night before and was able to point us in the right direction. Rounding another corner there it was. A large warehouse door entrance. Inside was the rope line and waiting area. The music was thumping loudly prepping you for the thrills yet to come. Painted on the walls were scary murials with zombies making their way around the room growling at newcomers and making a general nuisance of themselves, like all good zombies should.

The line was short but the wait was still about 10 minutes before we were permitted entry. They take their time staggering groups in so you get your own experience rather than viewing someone else’s from ten feet behind. This strategy didn’t always work out as planned.

Factory of Terror has four separate phases: Portal to Insanity, Industrial Nightmare, Mahoning Rd. Massacre, and Judgment Day 3D.

The Portal to Insanity was a very large house of mirrors. But this was nothing like any house of mirrors I’ve ever been in. Before entering you are required to put on plastic gloves. This keeps fingerprints off the mirrors and it worked marvelously. All through the house of mirrors you could not tell the difference between a mirror and a clear path.

There was a continuous heartbeat thumping that could be felt in your bones. As you make your way through the house of mirrors it gets louder and louder. Making our way through the Portal to Insanity wasn’t easy. You literally had to walk with your hands outstretched in front of you until they came into contact with a mirror. I was looking dead at people who I knew were not in front of me, but were a reflection of a reflection of a reflection. At one point I jumped out at myself from behind a post and scared the bejeezus out of me.

There was not a single path through the mirrors. There were many twists, turns and even circles. As Craig and I made our way through we passed others making their way back toward us, looking for the exit. Through the mirrors you could see an entrance and exit but you never could quite tell where it was.

Layer of mist that covered the factory floor.

Eventually, thanks to my bold leadership, Craig and I made our way out. Next up: Industrial Nightmare.

This was the big disappointment of the Factory of Terror. You were ushered into a large open warehouse with some machinery, storage racks piled with tools and what not. The atmosphere was creepy, but there really wasn’t much more than that. You just kind of walked through it. There were some decorations here and there and even the occasional zombie jumping out at you, but it just felt kind of empty.

It wasn’t until after we made our way that I noticed the ticket says it doesn’t officially open until next year. The question is, why have us walk through it at all? In its current form its a downer. I kept waiting for somethign to happen, becoming more and more disappointed realizing that it was not much more than a giant prop room.

Get your bloody mary's and finger foods here.

When you finished strolling through the Industrial Bad Dream you find a snack bar This is where you can get refreshments and a bloody mary. (Get it? A bloody mary in a horror house? C’mon, that was funny.) My guess is that during peak times the lines for each of the four areas can be long, creating extended waits between the four areas. Only having approximately 10 groups ahead of us our wait was still 10-15 minutes each time.

The next section we entered into was the Mahoning Rd. Massacre. This area alone was probably double the size of Fear Forest’s Insanetarium. But bigger does not necessarily mean better.

Put your right foot in, put your right foot out. Put your right foot in and... hey, where'd it go?

The walk through was your standard haunted house fare. You walk from one set to the next, each with it’s gruesome scene of violence or monsters jumping out at you. Sometimes both.

There was an overabundance of hydrolics used. Eventually I tired of the body’s shaking in uncontrollable spasms, or someone jumping out from behind something they were obviously hiding behind. Most of the actors did great. A few were even successful in catching me off guard. But overall I would have liked more real human bodies to get me engaged with the scares. A lot more.

About 3/4 way through the Massacre we caught up to the group in front of us. And shortly after that the group behind us caught up. We became a human train. All the scares were spoiled by those in front of us, and the fun was ruined by the loud group behind us. I’m all for making the talking to the actors as that’s half the fun. Making sarcastic comments is par for the course, but the group behind us were loud, obnoxious and not even remotely funny.

I never knew the lord of darkness was so... two dimensional.

The final stage was Judgment Day 3D. Before entering everyone is given a pair of glasses which allows them to get the full 3d experience. The effects in this section were expertly implemented. The walls, monsters, and decorations were painted orange and green. With the glasses the orange elements came jumping off the walls out toward you. Fixtures moved as you walked by creating a surreal feeling. Room after room of 3D effects gave Factory of Terror an excellent finale.

We exited the Factory of Terror on the south side of nowhere. It was kinda like being dumped in the middle of the desert with no directions how to get home. Where’s the path? The Markers? Heck, where is the parking lot? We ended up following a few other poor, lost souls on a long walk down the street, across an open lot and, oh, there’s where we parked! Nice of them to help us out and point the way.

I’ve never experienced a haunted house on this scale. Factory of Terror is simply massive in scope and bold in execution. They could use more of the human element, but overall, it’s a thrill I’d go back for.

More Factory of Terror Info

Cost: $20/person with internet coupons
Hats off: 4/5
Factory of Terror website
Yelp reviews
Google Reviews and info
Location:
4125 Mahoning Road NE
Canton, OH
(330) 455-3327

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The Fear Forest hay-less hay ride.

It was a dark and foggy night. The air was damp and dreary with a full moon in the midnight sky. The howls of werewolves could be heard in the distance coming from the speaker on the back of the tractor in front of us!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back to the beginning.

In the beginning God created monsters and zombies. They were lonely creatures with no one to scare… so He created man.

The second half of Jen’s and my two-fer night was the Fear Forest Haunted Hay ride and Insanetarium. We left the drive in disappointed having seen the zombie coming of age flick: Zombieland. Not scary, not gory, not funny.

We really needed a good dose of scary monsters right about now, so we headed over to Fear Forest hoping for the best. At 9:15pm the parking lot was barely full and we found a spot right at the front.

Not allowed to take pictures on the ride... so here's a picture of the ticket for you.

We bought our tickets for the hay ride and the Insanetarium haunted house. You can buy tickets for the hay ride or hay ride Insanetarium combo. Due to the location of the Insanetarim you can’t get solo tickets for just that. The hay ride should be called a hay-less ride, because… well, there was no hay to be found. They put you in a large 30 passenger open wagon pulled by a tractor.

With our tickets in hand we went to the line and waited.

And waited.

The mood music for the line was haunting for the first three minutes but quickly became repetitive. It would have been fine for a short wait, but we were treated to almost 45 minutes of the same sequence of notes over and over and over. Seriously, could they not find more than a 60 second loop of haunt music?

There were about 10 people in front of us in line and another 10 on the wagon. I wondered why they didn’t fill it, assuming they wanted the appearance of a long line. Restaurants do that too.

After about 15 minutes that wagon took off, another arrived and the line started moving. Unfortunately for us we didn’t make the next cart, as again, they only filled it half full. So we waited.

There's a wagon in the darkness somewhere.

And waited.

While at the front of the line Jen and I tried to chitchat with the workers. There were three of them standing around and we quickly realized that they didn’t have a whole lot of information to provide us. “Why are the wagons only half full?” She didn’t know. “Can you purchase tickets for the Insanetarium but not the hay ride?” One said you could last year, the other said it’s never been that way. Mostly they just cared about getting “lunch” from the Dairy Queen next door. These were not the brightest bulbs I’ve ever encountered.

After another 15 minutes, the tractor and wagon left and the next arrived. We grabbed front row spots thinking this would give us the best view of the sights. We got the rules of wagon riding; no flash cameras, stay in your seat, don’t eat the dead people (I added that, they weren’t that clever.) And then we waited.

And waited.

Is this a monster tractor?

We were left on our own, with a handful of other passengers behind us, listening to the werewolf howls coming out of the speaker on the back of the tractor. After sitting there for 15 minutes, the tractor driver broke from his chit chat with another employee, boarded the tractor and started down the trail. All this was done without a word to anyone. No, this wasn’t a mood thing, he just didn’t care to interact with us tourists.

Finally, 45 minutes after we bought our tickets we were off on the “hay” ride. We quickly realized that our front row seats put us at a disadvantage. A lot of the action happened toward the rear of the wagon. Most of the monsters jumped out only after we in the front had passed by. We spent much of the time turned around watching the rest of the passengers get the scares.

Aside from our unfortunate positioning, the hay ride was far better than I had anticipated. The full moon and low fog contributed to a creepy atmosphere. There were tons of great props along the way, buildings, sheds, and an abandoned car (was that intentional or just white trash?). Monsters jumped out along the way and at times boarding the wagon for effect.

Not everybody brought their A game. Like the camper who came walking out toward us amidst his family slaughtered in their tents saying, “you have to help us” in monotone. He didn’t give the impression of being worried. Then there was the axe murder dressed in plain clothes without a hint of blood on him. But then, people always say how “normal” everybody thought they were.

The picture Michael Meyers killed for.

I would have got more photos but we were told not to use our cameras. The flash blinds the monsters! At one point I tried to take a flash-free shot and found myself staring into the dark eyes of Michael Meyers. “I didn’t use the flash! I didn’t use the flash,” I was heard pleading as I was violently grabbed and then dragged away into the dark forest never to be seen or heard from again.

Oh, wait… I forgot, I’m the one who survives the horror movie.

There was a lot that was fantastic about the hay-free ride. They did a great job of setting up decoy distractions, taking your eyes away from the person or thing hidden in the bushes, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. A large cast of horror movie well-knowns were present. Michael Meyers, Jason, Freddy Krueger, Leatherface. Oddly I didn’t see Chucky. There were plenty of half-dead, mostly dead and in the process of being made dead people along the way. A few werewolves and other ghouly monsters showed their faces as well.

At one point the tractor drove through one of those spinning tunnels. Maybe it was the darkness and glow-in-the dark walls, but this was probably one of the best I’ve experienced.

The hay ride itself is worth the money if you don’t mind the wait. It took us a good 20 minutes to get through it all with plenty of good, scary action along the way.

The Insanetarium is at the end of the hay ride. It’s a small warehouse converted into a house full of monsters, serial killers and… well that’s funny…. I swear that I’ve seen that guy on Star Trek!

The Insanetarium is an indoor, walk through haunted house. It took us about 20 minutes to get through and not a second of it was wasted. As you walk through you’re treated to room after room of horror scenes, dead bodies, skeletons and monsters. Winding your way through, you never knew what to expect around the next corner, what might jump out at you or be following you from behind.

It was set up so you could go through with your own group without having to share space or scares with people you don’t know. I wanted to take my time walking through and I was able to do that without anybody catching up to us.

Near the end was another spinning tunnel. Again, this was one of the best I’ve encountered. I’m still dizzy.

The actors seemed to enjoy themselves thoroughly. They weren’t there just to put on a show, but they were interacting with us as well. The last haunted house I went to in Reno was about 1/4 the size and didn’t even compare on the thrill scare.

Upon exiting the Insanetarium there were a group of employees huddled around the wagon re-loading zone. They couldn’t care less about us. No interaction, no making sure we had fun, no communication. That’s too bad. The experience with the Fear Forest sets and actors had been exciting, but the rest of the crew just pulled you right out of the experience back into the real world of part-time employees that don’t give a rats ass about the customer.

There were a lot of young kids, but I’d be careful about bringing any that scare easily. This isn’t just a horror movie, it’s real life people coming out at you with knives and chainsaws. But If the kids can hack it, bring them out have an ice cream or burger at Dairy Queen and enjoy the (hay-less) ride.

More Fear Forest Haunted Hayride Info

My Cost: 2 Adults, hay ride & Insanetarium combo; $28
Hats off: 4/5
Fear Forest website
Location:
6780 Tod Ave SW
Warren, Ohio 44481
(330) 392-6527

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